In Chapter 1 we meet our hero, Dan Schaeffer, whose tensions at work spill over at home.
In the interview, our expert, Dr. Redford Williams, advises us about how to deal with anger. The skills in his system help us evaluate the difficult circumstance, so we can decide whether to take action or to “chill out.” He also informs us how anger physically takes its toll on us. I have met abrasive managers who claim they don’t get headaches, they give them. Now we know what’s happening to their arterial walls.
For Executives: How to not take anger and stress home with you…
- Before you leave the office, organize the next day. Having confidence that you can smoothly re-enter your workplace helps you drop the emotional charge of unfinished business and relax.
- Before you enter your home, take a moment to reflect on and appreciate who and what awaits you. Set your intention to relax and enjoy your evening.
- Before sleep give yourself the suggestion that in the morning you’ll have new insights about how to re-imagine the difficult situation and move it in a positive direction. While you sleep your unconscious mind is the supreme problem solver.
For Leadership Development Professionals: Working with angry employees/clients…
- Connect with their frustration. Listen first. Any judgment conveyed in verbal or non-verbal behavior will get them to dig in their heels and categorize you as an enemy.
- Ask them, “Given all of the difficulties you just described…”
a. What are some useful outcomes you can imagine for the situation?
b. How would that move the situation forward in a positive way?
c. What’s the first small sign of positive change you can put in motion.
d. (If at any point they continue to complain and rant, repeat step 1, and then 2.)
- For helping them manage their anger, Dr. Williams gives us an excellent formula in the interview.
Question for Reflection: What is the positive use of anger? When have you been able to harness it without incurring its negative by-products?
In the next chapter we’ll see how a coach works with Dan’s anger.
Did you miss the previous chapter?